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Tick.

Post  WannieTheSane on Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:48 pm

Why did I keep doing this?

I looked down and of course my hands were completely stained. I knew from the past couple days that no amount of scrubbing would remove that bright blue from my palms; no sense even bothering to wash my hands, might as well just try again.

I flipped the device over and used a staple remover to pry the panel off. A mess of exposed wiring spilled out exposing the hastily soldered circuit boards beneath. I moved a few wires to new connecting points, resoldered the whole mess once again, and clipped the panel back in place. I knew it wasn't going to work, but I flipped it right-side up, balanced it on it's rubberised feet (to prevent slipping) and activated the gyroscrope function to ensure against it being improperly balanced.

This was it, the moment of truth... I glanced over my shoulder at the camera silently watching me... judging me... Shake my head to clear it, can't think about what's on the other end of that camera. "Testing device B-2294A for the 8th time" I intone aloud. I take a deep breath and flip the switch.

The metal discs spin, LEDs light and begin pulsating, the entire device shudders, once, proving the gyroscope to be nearly useless, and then quits. In frustration I hit it, hard, on the right hand side of the base. I think I hear something jiggle loose inside. I don't know why, but something compels me: I flip the switch on once again. Pain. Brightness. Warmth. Void. Elsewhere.

I open my eyes. Brown. All I see is brown. The brown shifts and I notice individual strands of it waving and moving despite the still air. My sense of scale and proportions shift, everything isn't brown, just the wall in front of me. I stumble back in shock and my perception shifts again. That's no wall... That's... Impossible!

The wooly mammoth has barely noticed me for I am beneath noticing to the beast. It snorts and I see the life of a small bush snuffed out as it get's uprooted by the blast and tumbles dejectedly away.

Suddenly the beast looks right at me, it takes notice and blasts a deafening trumpet into the air. All I can picture is God trumpeting the end of the world, and for me, right now, that's surely what it heralds. The beast takes a step back, readying itself to charge me and impale me on one of it's curved tusks. No... wait, it's backing up more, it's giant head swiveling left and right and finally beginning to lumber off. I start to breathe a sigh of relief just as I realise the beast wasn't looking at me, I was still beneath it's notice, it was looking past me.

I feel the hairs on my neck raise one by one as I identify the noise that had slowly been building up beneath my notice, so preoccupied was I with the beast before me. It's whoops. Whoops and shouts and cries and pounding feet. I turn to see 15 or so men running straight for me, spears poised and blood lust in their eyes. Thwuck! A spear lands about 2 meters in front of me. I lift the device and begin flipping the switch frantically. Nothing. I flip it upside and shake it, blue liquid spilling everywhere. Thuump! A stone, presumably from a sling, shoots by my head and lodges itself in a tree behind me. I flip the switch and nothing continues to happen. One of the men has his spear poised directly in front of him, he's metres away from me and the corner of his lip is twitched up in a smile, but his eyes still show nothing but blood and hatred. This is it; my moment has come. I take a deep breath, I lift the device in front of me and hit it, hard, right on the base. I flick the switch. Pain. Void. Cold. Brightness. Elsewhere.

My hands fly up to my chest to cover the gaping spear wound and find only lab coat. I'm safe! I'm back in the lab! I breathe a heavy sigh of relief only to notice the device which I've dropped on the bench in front of me. The blue liquid is mostly gone, but to my dismay I realise what little is left is full of inconsistencies and pulp.

I look up at the two lights above my bench and of course the red light is lit, it's never the green.

I retrive the clipboard from my bench. The top page is one of many identical forms I've been filling out all day. It is labelled "Test of device B-2294A - Electric smoothie maker". I search the "Reason(s) for failure" checklist at the bottom of the page and place a very neat and deliberate tick in the box marked "unintended time travel".
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WannieTheSane

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Re: Tick.

Post  WannieTheSane on Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:52 pm

Uhhh... spoilers below... Rolling Eyes

Hey all. Haha, I had no idea where this was going. I certainly didn't know the blue liquid was going to be the remains of poorly blended fruit... blueberries I guess? I wasn't even sure what the device was or what it did.

Shortly before the time travel bit I realised the horrible horrible punch line I would build towards. So, yeah, I pretty much made everything up on the spot, other than I planned the stupid "smoothie maker" bit a few paragraphs in. Haha, yeah, sad to say that was the bit that was planned.
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Post  Admin on Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:18 am

hahaha, this was actually very amusing! good punchline at the end!

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Re: Tick.

Post  OpRise on Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:37 am

LOL! Highly enjoyable and creative! Smile Love it!
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Re: Tick.

Post  WannieTheSane on Wed Feb 08, 2012 11:48 am

Well thanks very much you two!

I'm appreciative of any feedback and positive is especially good Laughing

I'm glad you both thought it was funny. I think because I knew the punchline I was building toward it seemed planned or boring or something by the time I got to it.

Thanks again!
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Re: Tick.

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