More poetry than song.

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More poetry than song.

Post  KindOfBlue06 on Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:30 am

I'm also a musician, and what follows is a song I wrote while going through a dark night of the soul after almost dying. However, the form is more poetry than songwriter, so I thought I'd share it here. Tell me what you think of it, I'd be glad to hear it. Also, I can;t find the rest of it, but when I do I will post it as well.

Forever:

I look at you, like it's the only certainty in this life.
Like days on a calendar, sand through the glass.
All we have is this moment,
All we have is today.

And I want to be forever knowing
What it is to live and to die
in the eternity of every moment

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Re: More poetry than song.

Post  FairyDust on Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:18 pm

nice! can't wait to read more of it. Very Happy

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Re: More poetry than song.

Post  studentofrhythm on Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:14 pm

These words would go well to music.
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Re: More poetry than song.

Post  TheBikloptiKon on Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:30 am

Maybe I've been reading too many Buddhism books, but this poem reminds me of impermanence. It seems that in this world of flux, you're looking for something constant. The whole thing seems contradicting itself, and that's why I love it. Life is full of contradictions, it seems. I've probably missed the point, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If I've taken a different meaning from that than the one you intended, then that proves how good a poem this is. Bleh, ugly sentence... I need more coffee.
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Re: More poetry than song.

Post  studentofrhythm on Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:43 pm

I'm curious about the music that this goes to: tempo, instruments? Please do post the whole thing when you can.
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Re: More poetry than song.

Post  KindOfBlue06 on Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:23 pm

Thanks for the feedback guys! I was reading alot of Nouwen when I wrote it, so maybe some of it rubbed off on me. As far as the music, it's just me on guitar and drums in the background. slow ehereal chords, then fast distorted riffs, then back to slow arpegiated ethereal chords. Then drums drop out and what insues is a crazy unaccompanied guitar solo, where I madly writhe the emotions out of the guitar before going back to the arpegiated chords of the chorus.

It's my favorite song I've written, because it's so close to me. The music is dark, intense, brooding... Fuck, I wish I could upload a video or something of me playing it, but I'm too technically challenged. This is a writers forum anyways. Just know that this is a piece that's very close to me, and to play it is like baring my soul, so I thank you once again for all your kind words and feedback. I'm glad it had an impact on you, that is after all the goal here isn't it?

Also, as for the meaning: to look at a lover, a friend a parent, knowing that everyone is here for only a short precious time. Days on a calendar, sand through the hourglass, symbols of time, symbols of certainty. And to look at them with that kind of certainty, is real and powerful. It's about me wanting to live Forever in that moment, that one brief moment when I look at them like that. And when I look at them like that, I live and die just as that ever passing moment lives and dies. But it's in that moment, where I glimpse eternity. The song is basically about that moment, and wanting to relive it again and again. It's as much about time as nontime. The deeper meanings of existence, and of what it means to truly live in the moment.

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Re: More Poetry than a Song

Post  OpRise on Sat Feb 04, 2012 6:02 pm

I submit that a video would be perfectly appropriate for this forum, particularly for poetry. Smile

And I want to be forever knowing
What it is to live and to die
in the eternity of every moment
Love these lines... they feel original and personal, and open up an idea in new way.

One thought...it's possible "sands through the glass" creates a smidgen distance. Because it's a popular image, the reading evoked other (fleeting) associations.. perhaps there is something that hints at the glass, but keeps the image close and fresh. Overall, beautiful. Has impact!

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