a little guilt and regret never hurt anyone

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a little guilt and regret never hurt anyone

Post  OpRise on Sat Feb 04, 2012 6:33 pm

I only write poetry when i need to express something that can't be said any other way, so I don't write for anyone and I didn't know if I'd post any on here... but here are a couple short things.

1.
Flatline on a rusty night, pale shadows play in willowed alleys, safe in effervescence. Never never never words in endless comic loops, tragic heart, tragic breath, tragic means. Flavor pursuit on rollercoaster winds, howling horror.

2.
Wander Wonder One for Check Please. The setup was
vast. Facing up and out with inside nerves crackling
Wild. this slowness runs along Brooks and over rocks, jagged,
quiet. New Day. What challenge, mystery, Infinite
Forgetfulness. When they gave the day they never imagined this,
or maybe they Did. Burdens heavy and Remote and
misshapen, Grave spells, maze games, Haze days hard.

Fantasy mind upended. Flee in a box, flee in Endless
roundabout ignorance. Forever in wood and stone. It was
given, not to be forgotten. It was given, and left alone
in a foggy misty morning with night echoes and moon cries.
Shimmering orange Pins the eyes, reflecting, mirroring,
Recognizing.

One day Nails it up to the wall.
Rip, tear, run away, flesh and Not flesh here and there.
What litter, what life. The curtains are fucking blue.


[Side note in case someone happens to recognize it: that last line was taken from a humorous cartoon thing a perc member posted about what your lit teacher thinks an author means by blue curtains (the emotional depth of the character blah blah) vs what it really means: that the curtains were fucking blue... lol]
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Re: a little guilt and regret never hurt anyone

Post  FairyDust on Sun Feb 05, 2012 12:45 pm

I love it! the imagery appeals on so many levels to me. I always find myself identifying more with earthy, wild, natural things. the word maze conjures up many things. The maze of the mind, life and the more traditional maze.

Very enjoyable, share more! Smile

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Re: a little guilt and regret never hurt anyone

Post  OpRise on Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:35 am

FairyDust wrote:I love it! the imagery appeals on so many levels to me. I always find myself identifying more with earthy, wild, natural things. the word maze conjures up many things. The maze of the mind, life and the more traditional maze.

Very enjoyable, share more! Smile

Thanks very much! Smile I like the earthy, wild, natural things too.
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Re: a little guilt and regret never hurt anyone

Post  TheBikloptiKon on Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:56 am

That was pretty awesome! I really got a thing for nature poetry, it's always so visceral. After I read the first, I didn't think the second could possibly compete, but now I'm left confused.

I really like the way you play with the your words. The way your "comic" loops happen to be tragic, very nice. A loop, is a cycle and this one seems vicious. Maybe not vicious... but a cycle nonetheless, devoid of delight, at least.

The Wan/Won/One really worked for me. I find myself thinking about that particular sound and find myself constructing sentences with these words. I usually include Juan when doing this, but it cheeses things up, usually. Kudos for not adding Juan into the mix XD Such a thing would ruin the image you were trying to convey, or rather it would interfere with image and feeling you projected into my mindseye. Sorry, just read that last sentence, I swear I'm not an aspiring cult leader. I won't delete, tho... I regret nothing! XD

It seems your poem inspires irreverent blabber in some readers, but I wouldn't call that a bad thing.
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Re: a little guilt and regret never hurt anyone

Post  OpRise on Mon Feb 13, 2012 3:03 am

Mike, your post cracked me up! Thank you for the constructive feedback, I'll remember adding Juan into the mix could borderline cheese things up lol! I Was wondering if it was a little too much as I wrote it...glad it worked. Thanks for the play with words comment Smile That was nice to hear because that and duality like the comic-tragic are things I like as well.
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