Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

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Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  Admin on Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:14 am

The light through the canopy above, streaming down upon the soft grass
bespeckled, glistening, fresh
and the cool stream passes underneath, lifting and carrying my limp frame
i am falling through the mountain, to a place of depth unmeasured
the creatures that stir there are unspeakable, their power unmatched
the earth quakes with hunger for my arrival
and as I meet the core, the distinction between soul and body is vanished
my weight, at the same time infinite and infintesimal, my mind, eternal
the sum of all understanding was given to me, silently absorbed through the crust
I have found completion in destruction

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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  Seven of Cups on Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:04 pm

↑ Beautiful post! The second-to-last line brought everything together for me. Smile

5 minute speed-draft on a nomadic woman getting to know her sword:

She held in her hand part of her. It was not her mother's, but the mask she found beside it, she felt, had a connection to it. There were grooves in the heavy metal where small gems were embedded. Some had fallen out, and Aine vowed to replace them with stones of equal value to her. She knew that it would be a mental passageway to connect again with her mother.

She didn't favor the crusades, but she felt as if it was inherent that she swing this blade, as an art form. The shining metal as it caught her eye, careful to not bind her hair in the strokes as she flexed her wrist around to accommodate for the blade. She heaved her chest and sighed with each stroke with the support of her back. She clenched her teeth and felt an immaterial passion writhe within her with the thought of finding her mother's husband. And her brother.... he was out there. too.

She halted movement for a moment.. [end time]
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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  Admin on Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:55 pm

Thanks!

writhing passion, clenched teeth, heaving chest: good imagery/sensation Very Happy

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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  WannieTheSane on Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:58 pm

Wow you two! Both excellent posts with some very nice imagery.

I really liked "I have found completion in destruction"

and also: "...but she felt as if it was inherent that she swing this blade, as an art form."

I can't seem to get into it right now (maybe it's because I just wrote a bunch of free thought already)... I'll be back.
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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  adverseaffects on Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:01 am

I'll do one right now.

I stood watching him. He played the room. All the energy was drawn to him. The women were looser than usual, voices drawling, nails on arm. He was touching her.
It was fine until I heard him talk. Drawing his voice out that playful way, the way that made everyone brighten up. His attention felt like a reward, and I wasn't going to get any ever again.
Remembering what he said to me...
"I don't know why I'm stuck on you!" and months later, "You've driven me away."
I play with the drops of water on the table left over from my glass. He's kissing her? I look up. No, still talking. Oh, she's said something funny. She's joking about vibrators. He's laughing, she's blushing, he's a man man man
I am sure he knows I am here in this corner.
He just doesn't care.
I'm not his responsibility anymore. I wish I could be having a lovely old time, wish all the boys were flocking to me to make a similar point to the one he's making so clearly to me right now: I don't need you.
At night I don't think about you and I don't need you, I don't regret you and I don't hold onto you.
He's winning.
I think about him, all the time.
I think about winning, too, which is why I'm not going to cry. He may not acknowledge me, but he knows I'm here, and he'd know it if I cried like a fool.
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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  Acey on Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:17 am

Good posts so far! Very Happy Too bad there are no thank buttons here.

I sat, legs crossed on my wooden chair, my back, propped straightly against my bedroom wall. My eyes were closed.

Thoughts that have plagued me for most of the day gently coasted away, like clouds in the summer sky. I was slowly entering deeper into my mind.

"What are you doing, John?" I am snatched back into reality, as if someone dumped a cold bucket of water on my face. I kept my eyes closed. "I'm meditating" I replied to my roommate, showing clear agitation in my voice.

"You're such a weirdo sometimes" he continues "You'll never be able to pass our calculus exam tomorrow if you keep doing this."

His voice abruptly trails off. I an submerged in complete silence. My eyes snap open.

Terror begins creep up my neck as I can see only darkness. In the distance I can see a door, light slicing a sliver through the blackness.

A ghostly essence seems to pass through me. My palms become moist with perspiration. I stand completely still, waiting to hear anything. A creak shatters the silence just behind me. Something is here.

I begin to run to the door. It seems far away. I hear the heavy footsteps and feel the quiver of the floor boards against my bare feet with each relentless step it took. It was right behind me.

Just as I reach the door, it slams shut. I stood facing the closed door, paralyzed with fear. Silence again fills the room. Warm tears run down my cheek. Teeth grit, fists clenched, I turn around fiercely, ready to fight until death.

Nothing.

My eyes shift from side to side, waiting for an attack. The door creaks opens behind me. Light shines through me, and I see it.

My shadow.

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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  WannieTheSane on Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:50 am

She had lain in bed for over an hour, comforted by the slow but steady rythym of his breathing. She could feel the mattress compress beneath her each time he pulled a breath; that minor but familiar pull toward the centre of the bed where they had found themselves so often there was now a permanent depression.

She lay beside him, gripping his hand, staring up at the ceiling, staring up at their future together. She could see them both, right there in front of her, but no matter how high she reached or how much she wanted it she would never connect to either. His breathing slowed more, but his grip on her hand tightened, only fractionally, but enough.

She rolled over on him and layed her head gently on his chest, not actually applying any weight. She looked up at him and for a brief moment he opened his eyes. His eyes were full of love and regret and tears. She kissed his eyelids closed and put her mouth on his, not kissing him, but feeling his breath mingle and embrace her own. She imagined their essence, their very souls dancing and merging together before losing themselves to the darkness beyond.

She felt his breath come faster now, quicker and with a hint of desperation. She held him tighter and whispered her love for him in his ear. She told him of their life together and spoke of all the things yet to come. As she was speaking so gently to him, he relaxed, took a few deep breaths, and with one final sigh, a sigh full of love found and love lost, he breathed his last.

She lay beside him. In the morning would come forms and phone calls and funeral directors; but now, right now, there was only him and her. She looked at the ceiling, she looked at their future.
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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  OpRise on Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:54 am

WannieTheSane wrote:She had lain in bed for over an hour, comforted by the slow but steady rythym of his breathing...

Beautiful, moving. I love how she knows him so well she can read all of his emotions with no words exchanged, and the action and personification of breath in this line: She kissed his eyelids closed and put her mouth on his, not kissing him, but feeling his breath mingle and embrace her own. Wow. sunny
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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  WannieTheSane on Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:19 pm

Aw shucks... Embarassed

Thank you very much!

My last line makes me sad everytime I read it. Sad
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Re: Thinking fast...5 minute time limit...

Post  dearlybeloved on Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:24 am

Aw, you guys are so talented! This is beautiful. Smile *sigh* I'd do it now, but I'll have to wait till later; I should be asleep! It's 1:30. In the morning. Oh, boy.

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