Whisper my name love

I found my old poetry book! So I'll share a few here and see what you guys think. I lost many of my original poems when my computer stopped working.

I've only started writing them again when I joined PERC.

This one was something I wrote when I was absolutely and truly in love. It was also a song I used when I was roleplaying a goddess from my fantasy setting, she was a bard while walking as a mortal, at one point.

Whisper my name love - as the moon calls the night.
Cherish my touch love - as the moon turns to day.
Lay back in my arms love - as our lips meet and linger.
Let our bodies entwine love - through the lengthening shadows.

Lay down in the meadow;
Lay down bathed by starlight.
Lay down in my arms love;
'Till the dawn breaks this spell.

Look up at the stars love - at their bright steady glow.
Enraptured by moonlight; my love for you grows.
Sculpted by moon glow, in an unearthly aura.
Your body to mine love, as I breathe in your scent.

Lay down in the meadow;
Lay down bathed by starlight.
Lay down in my arms love;
'Till the dawn breaks this spell.

Enchanted I am love - as I look in your eyes.
Tainted with a bright mercury hue.
Silver enfolds us in a sprinkle of rain.
Adoring like diamonds as they settle there.
With tiny clear sparkles - en-wrapped in your hair.

Lay down in the meadow;
Lay down bathed by starlight.
Lay down in my arms love;
'Till the dawn breaks this spell.

Whisper my name love - as the moon calls the night.
Cherish my touch love - as the night turns to day.
Lay back in my arms love - as our lips meet and linger.
Soar to the heavens as our bodies entwine.

Wow, I could really feel what you were feeling-- sinking into the feeling of love with someone. I really liked the use of repetition, rhythm was good. Got any more for us??? <3

Thank you, I haven't read that one myself in such a long time. It's going to be interesting to see what people make of my older stuff compared to my new. Have I lost my passion? I don't know, but as requested here is another I have written. It's newer so different flavor. I rarely finish them so I know a few things aren't quite as they should be!

It's no secret that I love Drizzt Do'Urden, he was my shining beacon in the storm tossed chaos that was my tormented infp self growing up. He may be fantasy but he gave me the hope to continue through the dark to the light, he was my champion in the bleak years of my adolescence when I thought I was a freak of nature. When there was no one else like me.

I wrote this a few weeks ago just as is. I changed about 4 or 5 words.


Drizzt Do’Urden

I am the darkness - to your light
The eyes that glow with mercurial sight
Lavender burning in pitch black night
Clothed in tresses of the moonlight bright

I am the conscience that prevails
When all is lost, behind the spiders wails
The hope and glory of the right and good
The shining knight of Ice winds dales

By my side the stalker prowls
Shadowed paws upon slashing claws
Clothed in her indigo silken cloak
Barely a mark in the soft snow, stole.

In each hand lie two steely blades
Edged with a twinkle of the fallen gods
Runes of ice etched upon one curve.
Both bring death with a whispered swerve.

The first one made me wanna listen to Moonlght Sonata. And the second one just blew me away! I like your style, your imagery. More, more!

Yes, the repetition does give it a resonance with traditional forms that makes it fit convincingly with a fantasy setting. To me it has an ancient or medieval flavor. And I know this may be geeky, and I know it has some rhyme in English, but it seems to want to be translated into a conlang.

heh, thanks, I sorta know what conlang is (a made up language). lol.
I am a big fan of older style poetry so I guess that comes through. I love the old fashioned language and the way they used to speak. I actually had to relearn english for an exam as I had gotten into the habit of writing with too much of a medieval/fantasy flourish. While my teacher appreciated it, I wouldn't have passed if I'd continued.

I really liked the first one, very lyrical. Excellent metre, made mouthing the words while reading a pleasure. Though I like the first one better, I REALLY dug a line in your second poem.

Clothed in tresses of the moonlight bright

I was all like "Whoa." Keep it up

Thank you very much am getting some really good feedback, very unexpected.

Wow. I felt both of these were really beautiful, and I love your artistic use of language and the rhythm it creates (my favorite thing!).

OpRise wrote:Wow. I felt both of these were really beautiful, and I love your artistic use of language and the rhythm it creates (my favorite thing!).

Thanks OPRise, lovely to get your feedback and hear from you too! am off to read some of yours now.